Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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