i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
