I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
