It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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