I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize