R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
