I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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