I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
