Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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