I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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