I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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