I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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