what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
