THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
