There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
