I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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