1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
