Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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