That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
