Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
