This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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