and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
