I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
