He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
