so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
