no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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