She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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