I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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