mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
