Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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