Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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