I'm gonna have a badass scar
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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