You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
