You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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