I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
