We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
