There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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