Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
