i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize