It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
