Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
