I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
