its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
please don't ironically join a cult
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