hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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