he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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