my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
