Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
