so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
