is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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