you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
