i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
