I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
